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Great News Today, the Alpha Dolphin Sings :)
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Great News Today, the Alpha Dolphin Sings :) I got some really great news this morning. Our family elders have consulted their crystal skulls (just kidding), and they have proclaimed the Christmas Luau this year is on. Whoopee!!! We have not had a single family luau since the Christmas Luau 2019. They caution the date is subject to change depending on what happens in the pandemic between now and then, but the luau planning can go forward, and they are sending the word out to all of the family on the many islands. I'll tell you this, if the pandemic is better, I think the response from our very large family is going to be huge. Just as an fyi, in normal times our family luaus four times a year, timed with the four solstices, the change of the seasons, not that we have much of a seasonal change here. We plan them for the closest Saturday evening to the solstice date. A lot of planning goes into them because the family is literally rooted in the commercial shows of the islands and tourism in general. During this pandemic the economics of tourism has been real world catastrophic, and my family has felt it really hard with our privately owned family corporation opening the trust boxes of family members that really needed help. So anyway, thinking about this, our family luau, I thought maybe I would turn another one of my private journal entries of days gone by into a blog item. Anyone is welcome to read and comment however they may wish. It starts below. Winkie blinki at everybody  Tallie Private Journal Dec. 29, 2019 cc: Sections: Life, Luau, Sexual Dear sweet little discreet, secret, buried in the floor journal, I have something for you today… about our most recent family luau. Please accept this from this poor waif, very novice writer, and don't tell anybody. lol Our family luaus are considered as a very festive but also serious event. The timing of the luaus is important for multiple reasons, ie, cultural, spiritually, family business, and just plain old fun. The luaus are timed to match the seasonal changes, the equinox beginning each new season, but to keep it simple in this hectic busy world we simply nominate the following Saturday evening after the equinox occurs as our luau time, and perhaps that is close enough for the important things to receive attention from the mass consciousness of the family. On the night of the equinox itself, that ceremony is closed and available only by the invitations of our Monarch Lady, the family healer who supervises the spiritual happenings, and the invitees are only women, typically the older and wiser women of the family. I am an upstart, and I don't get those invitations, except as the first (and only) of the Matriarch I could attend if I wanted to, and I don't. The women involved in the equinox ceremonies are far advanced beyond my understandings of spirituality, and I know my place, so... back to the luau. The luau program is a well thought out agenda of various subjects involving various segments of the family, by age, single or married, the wee ones, adolescents, young people of culturally approved age, teachers of the culture, parents, middle aged, the older elders who are the leaders of the family, and including the entertainers and sub managers of the luau, ie, dancers, singers, skit players, musicians of all kinds, drummers, backstage managers, and in general anybody you can think of that participates has their place somewhere throughout the day and evening. Planning and programming the luau is a huge task, and the more family that comes to the luau the more difficult it gets. The planning is a process, and the name of the game is... delegate. LOL I did a lot of it for this last luau, and I have informed my mother that the larger luau in the spring will be her responsibility, and I don't care what her business is that kept her from showing up this last time. The timing was not good for her because of delicate negotiations occurring with the French in the Tahitian government house... as there always is. Blech! At least she was able to cajole Prof. Mark and his super sweet girl unit to dance at the luau in their typically aggressive way that was so entertaining it had everybody yelling in appreciation. Anyway, for the Christmas Luau luau this next year we are expecting about 175 family members to show up, and the final count was 265. Ugh! We were lucky my Uncles chose to cook five big pigs just in case, and we stretched the veggies and goodies far enough and we made it through, thank goodness. The only problem I had was the plum wine that I continued drinking after the feast, and... I will never, ever, never drink plum wine again for the rest of my life. It took a full 24 hours before I could eat anything, and that was only a milk shake, and then I started feeling better but didn't fully recover for a couple of days. Lesson learned... again. Ugh! For the little ones and up to but not including the age of puberty, the luau begins at midmorning. The object is to keep them going and run their little batteries down so that when it is time for them to go to bed after the first general part of the luau is over, they can be put to bed during the luau intermission, and the adolescent baby sitters make sure they stay there. Anyway, at midmorning the story tellers begin their task, and there is usually more than one teller, elders who are both male and female. They tell the about the legends of the old culture, and the reasons something happened in the history of the islands. The stories are always about the high road of morality involving protection of the family, the community, and the island they live on. They do intentionally tell a few stories that scares the poop out of the , and those are for a good purpose to explain about walking in the right path, being kind to everyone, and using positive mind to affect their surroundings and the world, and to try not to barbeque any foreign sailors unless you just have too. LOL Every year the stories are told repeatedly, and the good stories usually sink in to the young minds in the right way. And then... LUNCH!!! Blow the conch. Little ones and everybody... run, run, run on little legs, get out the way they are hungry little morays, and the mommas are there with the goodies, little snips of the first pig that has been cooking all night, and then the ice cream and cookies and supervised games while the adults grab a snack lunch. For the young one's it is an intentionally structured day, and exhausting. If the boys are not on the move all the time my Uncles help out to expend energy. "You there, little Nino, climb that tree and bring me that coconut. I need THAT one for a dipper." Like someone is really going to use it for that. LOL In the afternoon the various groups involved with the entertainment of the luau gather, the programs are handed out, and the supervisors discuss the detail with the entertainers on who goes first, second, last, etc. The dancers and drummers put their heads together although not much planning is needed for the dancers who are mostly professionals that dance for a living in the commercial shows. Everybody in the first part of the luau gets their places in the general entertainment that is more milder than wilder. LOL The manager of the second part of the luau who is more like a coordinator than a manager simply designates the order of entertainment, but not much discussion is needed because what happens in the last part of the luau is pretty much spontaneous, except for the specialty dancers, the latest marriage dancers, divorce dances, birthing dances to announce a new family status, and the youngest dancers who have just completed their cultural training at the age of 15 and wish to announce their new status as... open for (sexual) business within the limitations and restrictions of the cultural rules. After the young culture graduates dancers are done... it is taboo to talk to specifically about those young entertainers just because they are doing what they are supposed to do within the culture rules to learn about sex, and its rewards and foibles. The second part of the luau is not actually such a big deal... after you have been to about 10 of them. LOL The adult part does range from mild to wild, and is sometimes quite creative. About midafternoon I invited the adults who wanted to rest for awhile (or not) up to the big flat rock where I get my nudie sun that is way above the roof line in back of the house. From that big rock you can see everything down below for several miles, but nobody can see you... except for that fricking Dole helicopter that sprays the pineapple fields down below. LOL Most of them that climbed up the stairs that my Uncle Lapi and my hubby installed a year ago... were naked by the time they got up to the rock and were holding their clothes in their teeth. LOL The feast begins at 6 p.m. Blow the conch, run, run, run, find your place fast or starve. The elders who are to feeble to sit on the pillows and ground cushions seat themselves at the picnic tables placed in a long line behind the wider line of all others who sit in an oval shaped line around the luau circle that contains all the goodies on tables. Each of the smaller immediate families sit on their luau cushions in front of their extended family elders. Servers swarm like bees around the oval food space in front of the entire family, with the first servers moving to the picnic tables of the elders who get their festive food first. Short speeches and announcements begin while everyone is eating and continues until near the end of the feast when deserts magically appear to the squealing of , and the groans of adults. LOL Puddings, ice cream, cookies, cakes of various kinds, with hardly none of it being related to anything of the old culture. LOL My Uncle Lapi, with the biggest sweet tooth on the island always challenges the to a cookie eating contest, and shortly after that the mommies step in to scold my uncle and spoil his fun. LOL We do it a little differently here compared to the mainland. When the deserts are served the first to stand up and speak is the lead Monarch woman of the family, the family healer. She blesses the food, and the family, and she tells the story of the Goddess Laka who is believed to have been a real woman a very long time ago who paddled herself to the various Hawaii islands to teach islanders the Hula, and all things surrounding the hula, including many of the healing herbs and the natural contraceptives picked from the roots and plants of the mountains, but also with an emphasis on baby making to support the continuing population of the islands. The culture established by the Goddess Laka was very important to the islanders in the hard times of bad years during the ancient times. Such occasions as bad storms, disease, war between the islands, and the general maladies that made survival more difficult back in those ancient times made baby making a No. 1 task on all the islands. That is the extent of any religious tone in the luau, and it is mainly for the purpose of reminding all that we are a part of the one in the universe of many, and one family of many, to the benefit of our own well being and others that we often affect. Next, my Uncle Lander, the CEO of our family owned corporation who nearly all of the family works for in one capacity or another, stood up to make his announcement of something he and I have worked on for over a year, and I believe this was the reason we had more family at the Christmas Luau than we generally expect. Everybody always pays attention to Uncle Lander as the CEO because his efforts benefit everyone. He is the boss that I work for directly on a part time basis as his executive assistant during the off season of the cruise line that employs me during their tourist season. Recently when my position changed with Uncle Lander, which he also announced, and I was so flattered at the applause and woo hooing at my promotion that was a nice recognition of me finally getting my post grad degree, my brand new masters degree that with $5 might get me a cup of coffee at the Royal Hilton. LOL Next, my older brother stood up, Toby, who gave the usual patriotic speech that was short, to the point, and a good enough speech to rouse the family. "Toby! Toby! Toby! Everybody clapped and whistled. Even though he is only three years older than me, it is a really good sign that he is already being accepted just as if he was an elder, because it wasn't that long ago when many in the family did not think much of Toby because they were convinced he was doing things in a war they did not approve of. Toby flew F/A-18s in the Navy for six years after he got out of college, until he suffered the eye detachment caused by the G forces over that time. When he was grounded he came home for the first time in a long time, and a lot of the family looked down on him as a war monger, but he turned that around when he started flying a small cargo jet for Green Peace, and now he fights the war for Mother Earth, and the family approves of him highly. I am so very proud of him, and it still makes me cry to remember what he went through in the unnecessary wars for awhile, and for the injury to his eye even though he is now fully recovered. I am still worried about his eye, but he assures me the cargo jet doesn't make him suffer the G forces as he did before. After that there was a luau intermission for 30 minutes. in my mothers absence it was my responsibility to stand up and yell... "Intermission time! Everybody go potty! Get out of the way I am first at the porta potties over by the cliff!" and I take off running like a striped ape before anybody could stand up. LOL The intermission is timed to end at about 8 o'clock, timed that way with the sun going down shortly after. My Uncle Lapi starts the generator in the luau shed that is out of hearing range that powers the big pole lights at the corners of the luau circle, and powers the sound system that hangs up in the trees surrounding the circle. The appointed helpers place the microphones at the center of the luau circle that is out in front of the food area that is quickly cleared away, the musicians start warming up, the big tree and little tiki drums go tika boom, tika boom, tiki boom boom, and the dancers and other performers run to the shed on the other side of the luau grounds that is used for their dressing area. The baggy shorts and food stained T-shirts disappear, the shoes come off, and the colorful short little otea skirts tied on the side, and the bingo bongo coconut bras go on. The hair is brushed and fluffed, flowers are placed behind the appropriate ear to designate whether a girl is single or married, and depending on the legend part the dancers will portray the crown dressings are applied in the colorful, feathery, head dresses of turkeydom. LOL Jingle jangle the bracelets and leggings of seashells and pearls. Panties go into the duffle bags and the thongs come out, because no self respecting otea dancer would be seen wearing the bloomers under the recently worn baggy shorts. The skirts are intentionally tied on the side so that all they have to do is extend their leg slightly, and what you see is the way it is, beautiful bare skin, and the upper parts of the lowermost are thong covered for the first part of the adult luau, but often does change rather significantly among half of the girls in the second adult part of the luau, and that's all I can say about that. LOL The bingo bongos that cover the dancers shapely breasts are not real coconuts anymore. They are made out of plastic but still look like coconuts, and they do seem to be getting smaller and smaller at each luau because the girls scissor them carefully to their own taste as well as for what the hooter callers in the luau audience beg for when the drums are at the loudest that encourages 100 mph tika boom hips and high pitched little tree drums that promotes carefree tiki titties. LOL The general part (first part) of the adult program usually lasts for about an hour or so with singers, musicians, and general dancers doing their thing showing their commercial oriented skills one after another quickly with performers rushing into and out of the luau circle. Tourism in general and especially the commercial shows are a large part of the personal economics of the family, and everyone, including the elders, watches carefully with a critical eye because the dancing and musical skills are so important to everyone. The Luau Show business is like any other, very competitive, and the family corporation cannot afford to fall behind the times, and THAT's the main reason when my family luaus we look very much like a tourist trap. lol. The last part of the general program is for the recently promoted professional feature dancers who perform in the tourist shows (and most of those also repeat in the more adult session that follows). A lot of times there are very special performances that are recognized by the entire family, like this time the grown up of my deceased Cousin Izzy chose to sing a solo. It was significantly noticeable by everyone, because my Cousin Izzy was a well known famous Hawaiian singer for years before he died, and he was well loved by all of the islanders. After he passed his withdrew from singing, and for several years she refused to sing at all. Last Saturday night she and her mother, Izzy's wife, sang a duet, and then she sang a solo that showed all of us how she had come out of her grief stricken emotional shell so beautifully. She sings like a beautiful bird, and knowing what it meant for her to sing made many of us cry with happy tears, including me. After her father's death and the way she took it so hard, every one of us is so happy her life is beginning again, and with so much promise for her future. 9:30ish p.m. "Guess what everybody?!!! Intermission time!!! 30 minutes," and I took off like a streak. The plum wine I was drinking was causing minor pressures as a bladder effect, but I wasn't paying enough attention because I was having so much fun lap hopping and watching the luau. LOL The mommies scrambled to gather up the little ones to walk them over to my Uncle Lapi's house on the other side of the luau grounds where they had set up cots for the little ones to sleep on. The assigned adolescents groaned and followed them to do their duty. "Mom, I do this all the time. Why do I have to do it tonight? Yada yada yada," LOL How well I remember saying that myself when I was 13. At the time I did not appreciate my mother's response. "Be quiet girl, or you will be a baby sitter until you are 30." My brother always said I was good imitator of an unhappy pirate. Arrrrrghhh. lol The second part of the adult luau started with my very best friend in the world, Shalayo, a professional dancer and now a choreographer/supervisor at one of the island's biggest tourist traps... who after being my roomie in college for three years married my first cousin Germaine, and has become a very solid female member of our family, one of the most beautiful dancers on the island... led the girls out of the darkness of the trees with the drums beating low, and then louder, and then louder, and then... BOOM!!! with hips seeming to knock the lights out with two of the big lights at the corners of the luau circle suddenly going dark. The girls wig wam walked their way to the beat of the drums to the very front of the luau circle just six feet from the line of people who had moved forward to the edge of the circle. Shalayo was almost within arms reach of my uncles with all of the girls all up and down the line banging it beautifully with naked breasts practically in the faces of the adults who clapped their hands with the drums and whistled and whooped in the loud teasing they enjoyed as the girls danced up close and personal. Shalayo moved side ways to tik tok thrust her breasts at her hubby Germaine who had his arm wrapped around me with his hand under my Baby T on my breast. Then she stepped to the side again to... entertain... my hubby who was standing with one of my female cousins. When those standing close enough to see Shalayo smiling mischievously and pointing at my hubby's hard on everybody around close laughed, and he laughed too, a good sign that he was not being self conscious like he often is. When he looked at me I licked my lips and gave him a thumb's up, and later after the luau I didn't see him or Shalayo for awhile. LOL That is all I am going to say about our family luau. You can use your imagination about what happens after the luau, I don't care. LOL We practice aloha love the same way our ancestors did eons ago, and we don't give a fig who may disagree with our way, but our intentions for everyone in the world is to learn to share the joy and love contained in the very word aloha. I'll show you something and tell you the results that is sort of an indication of how we take the luau seriously for the way it is intended in the culture to strengthen the Polynesian families who follow or have returned to the old culture. It is meant to be educational on various fronts. It unites the family for various purposes, including political (we are very familiar with our Congressman and lady, and we call them Brian and Tulsi, first names, and because they know where their bread is buttered best they address the family in the same way, except they call me Taliana. Tulsi, a transplant from American Samoa is a good friend. Brian is a wannabe special friend, but I am not going to say anymore about that because he has to live in a glass house.) Didn't mean to digress there. The video below has been around for awhile, but it has been purposely disguised to mislead the public shortly after it hit the internet because of the way it was initially introduced to the internet by an unscrupulous person. The family affected by the video tried a number of times to delete it from the internet, but they were unsuccessful because various people kept putting the video back out there because of the titillation they obviously enjoyed, with no pun intended. Watch the video, and then I will explain it. https://vimeo.com/1514191 The video is of one performance of a family luau of another family. It's not my family, but another family over on Maui that also practices the old Culture of Aloha, and I won't identify that family for obvious reasons. The video indicates the biggest reason why cams, or even phones, are not allowed at the family luau. The video was made by the husband of the young woman in the video, and it was done without her knowledge, or anyone else's. A lot of people would understandably think that it is not a big deal for a man to make a video of his own wife... who is obviously of mixed blood, but you can tell she is Polynesian by her hair in the second segment of the video. She definitely has the hair of an island woman although she could pass for Caucasian, sorta like me. The big deal of the video is... the islanders who are into the old culture understand quite well that we have to protect our culture very carefully, because we learned a long time ago what can happen when haole do good'ers become interested in the sexual activities of people, dogs, cats, worms, arrdvarks, and purple gorillas, only a small illustration of how the right wing religious fanatics have been out of control throughout history when they are allowed to get away with their shit bucket of rules for others while they do the same things as others do. The family involved is just an ordinary family with good people who would not harm a fly, but they couldn't get the problem resolved by themselves because they didn't have the resources to make the correction. So... after the wife divorced the mainland born bubba, their matriarch contacted our matriarch, my mother, to ask for help in fixing the problem. The end result was the affected family was happy enough when the ex husband involved lost his job, his bank account was frozen, or that is, whoops, the bank lost the file repeatedly, his car was repossessed, his landlord evicted him, he couldn't find a job, and it was a certain lawyer that escorted him to the plane with his passport to give him a one way air ticket, and currently he resides in Alabama from whence he initially came and hasn't been seen since. This is only an example of things that can happen when you fuck with the Goddess Laka, the first teacher of hula, the woman who taught our ancestors about aloha love. LOLOLOLOLOL (long wicked evil laugh). lol FYI we do sometimes invite guests to our family luau if good friends would like to attend, but bear in mind attendance requires an NDA, (non-disclosure agreement) that you have to sign as a guest of the luau. The NDA is a serious and very legal thing, and not kidding at all. The NDA requires serious economic penalties for violation and should not be signed lightly if you are the type that is not able to keep secrets easily. End of entry  |
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Sounds like a whole lot of fun, but maybe ease off on the Plum Wine this year 
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I can only imagine the work that goes into a family function like that, our family get-togethers grand parents, aunt's, uncle's and first cousins would be over one hundred people, and we just had a meal. Back in my younger years I would also throw parties for college kids, I would have a DJ set up in a barn, bon fires outside, and take them on hay rides. I would do them for 9 weekends every fall, with as many as 1500 per weekend. A lot of work, and a real sense of relief when it was over. Ha ha. Hope you and your family have a great Luau. Anything worth doing is worth doing right
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That's awesome. Glad there is a glimmer of hope to renew such a fantastic family tradition. I hope it happens. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde
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Get your poi on
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Thank you guys for the great comments Hopefully we can get this monster under control here in the islands to allow us to begin spreading the aloha again Everybody be safe, and healthy, and happy
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Get your poi on LOLBut everything goes better with taco sauce LOL
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Well shag me with a Brillo Pad Lei Tallei! I better shave my ballsack for the Fertillity Firedance Firewalk!  I need a lapdance from ShalayoAgra and will gladly sign a NDA if she lets me wear her panties. 
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1 post 10/1/2021 12:23 pm |
Hello, I am new to this discussion. I watched the video of the young girl. I am glad that the significance of the dance was explained to me. I would have thought that it was a performance scene from a beach where going topless is permitted. The dance has so much more meaning when you understand it. I feel like one of the described "haole do good'ers" talking here. I have no interest in learning of the practiced customs for any reason other than for my own curiosity in other peoples. But I do not want to be even a partial cause of the customs coming under attack from a general populace that isn't willing to be open minded. I was surprised to see so many attendees videoing and using flash photography though since it was mentioned above as prohibited.
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We really hope you get to have this great family tradition. Hopefully Covid will be somewhat under control by then hon. Here's hoping.
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We really hope you get to have this great family tradition. Hopefully Covid will be somewhat under control by then hon. Here's hoping.
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I have no aloha feelings for the haole missionaries that did so much damage to your culture. I hope they roast in a fire dance pit for a few millennia. (I firmly stand against "eternal" punishment of any kind, even in jest.) I had heard only hints (about Polynesian culture being polyamorous) but I hadn't realized the extent. I'm glad some of the old ways have been preserved/renewed. I have always felt I was born into the wrong culture. I think I'd be right at home in your family. Anyway, my very best wishes for an epic and fun (without hangover) luau that reflects honor on you and your organization skills. May they see you as an elder more than an upstart afterward. Nothing changes faster than the speed of love. - Rush
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