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Nice to be loved
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Posted:Jun 11, 2012 9:55 pm
Last Updated:Jun 17, 2012 9:11 pm
17551 Views
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First off I need to say thank you to everyone that commented on my blog post. I needed to hear the things that were said.
I also need to say thank you to a couple of friends that reached out and smacked me so to speak. A fellow blogger sent me an email and told me that this was something I needed to really stop and think about before rushing into things and making a bad decision. Another blogger sent me a message on the Bookface telling me to suck it up! A very sweet guy (and major pain in my ass) read my blog and called me to check on me. Even my oldest in GA had read my Bookface comments/posts and called to check on me.
I felt good knowing that people cared enough to reach out to me. Thank you!
Yes, I have made some decisions this past weekend. I actually made a post on my Bookface page and my "courter" (really need to come up with a better name...made I should call him my bf) posted back a very hurtful comment. He later confessed that he did it partly to light a fire under my ass to talk to him. But at the same time he said he figured it probably killed all chances with him.
We talked Thurs. evening. I talked to mini again. More drama there. I went over to his house Fri. night and the first thing we did....was just stand there and hold each other in a hug. We BOTH needed that. I spent the weekend with him. No, not like that. Just being together. Talking. Spending time together.
Friday night we went to dinner (he remembered that there was a restaraunt that had a drink that I adore and haven't had in quite awhile) then back to his place to watch a movie. Sat. we ran errands, weeded his flower beds, and he put down mulch. Sounds boring...but for me...spending time together was great. And a neighbor came over and he introduced me as his gf. Sat. night we had plans to go see a play fairly close to where he grew up. So we left early to take the scenic drive through his hometown. Then had dinner at a local Mexican restaraunt that i've frequented before with the Pony. Play was a riot.
Sunday...he was domestic. He felt that he was boring me. How? By fixing me breakfast? We ran more errands. Groceries, laundry, little things that were made all the better because he always held my hand, walked by and kissed my head, handed me the remotes, gave me a new book to read....
Did I mention he cleared out his garage so I could park my car in there so i'd never have to walk outside in the rain again? Or that he didn't laugh when I ran back up the stairs because there was a spider? Yeah...the little things that make my heart go pitter patter.
Mini me asked me last night while we were sitting at the drive in together...."Why aren't the two of you a couple yet?" Did I mention how much I love that ? 
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14
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Just another Manic Monday
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Posted:Jun 11, 2012 9:30 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2024 11:35 pm
15704 Views
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I loved that song back in the day. Manic Monday....kinda fit. Always seemed to wish it was Sunday.
MANIC MONDAY
by The Bangles
Six o'clock already
I was just in the middle of a dream
I was kissin' Valentino
By a crystal blue Italian stream
But I can't be late
'Cause then I guess I just won't get paid
These are the days
When you wish your bed was already made
It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
My I don't have to runday
It's just another manic Monday
Have to catch an early train
Got to be to work by nine
And if I had an airoplane
I still couldn't make it on time
'Cause it takes me so long
Just to figure out what I'm gonna wear
Blame it on the train
But the boss is already there
It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
My I don't have to runday
It's just another manic Monday
All of the nights
Why did my lover have to pick
Last night to get down?
Doesn't it matter
That I have to feed the both of us
Employment's down
He tells me in his bedroom voice
"C'mon honey, let's go make some noise"
Time it goes so fast
(When you're having fun)
It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
My I don't have to runday
It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
It's just another manic Monday
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Slapped...again
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Posted:Jun 8, 2012 7:13 am
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2024 11:35 pm
16359 Views
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It seems that no matter what I say.....no matter what I do.....I always seems to be wrong.
This has been a rough couple of days. Decisions to be made. Choices. Talks.
I have basically been crying for the last couple of days. I have spent my entire life being told how worthless I was. Not wanted. Never would be wanted. This by family.
My now ex husband told me that there was no reason to dress up, wear make up...etc. No need. And when we split...no one will ever want you. I like to think it was the alcohol speaking, but somehow don't think it was completely to blame.
My grandmother raised me after my mom died. She told me repeatedly that my mom never wanted me. She wanted to throw me away. I like to think it was mental illness speaking, somehow I don't think it was completely to blame.
I have spent my life always being there for everyone around me. I always took care of everyone else. Their needs, their feelings, my whole life. I have let people walk all over me. Stomp my heart, my feelings and make me feel completely worthless. I even believed it.
Yesterday was rough. I cried. I listened to endless sad songs. I cried with my teddy bear. I posted sadness on the bookface. And you know what? I was reprimanded. I was told that I was being hurtful to others.
I took mini me to a youth function last night. Casual. I went inside, I sat in the dark. I wasn't being unsocial. I was keeping from crying. I also needed to be alone. I had a vicious headache. Probably because I had not slept. Had not eaten. Friends said hello, I responded in like. No I didn't make small talk. When meeting was over, I got in my car....I drove home.
I know I am a bad person. I am a bad mother because I don't listen to my the way a "good mother" should. I don't take critism very well. I take everything to heart. So when cruel words are thrown at me....I believe them, I take them to heart, and guess what....it hurts.
I needed a hug yesterday. I needed someone to hold me. I need to be told that everything would be ok.
Everything that I say gets taken into the wrong context. I say one thing it is taken to mean that I am cold. I sit quietly it is taken to be that I am rude. I cry and it is taken to mean that I am wanting people to feel sorry for me. I don't know anymore.
Guess what? I woke up this morning. I opened my eyes. I checked my emails. I read my Bookface.... I read my watched blogs.
I am alive.
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0
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Love me
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Posted:Jun 8, 2012 6:58 am
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2012 7:09 pm
16635 Views
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Love me tender...
I love the words of old songs. I mean if you think about it, they speak to you. They tell a story. Sadness, love, life...everything in-between.
LOVE ME TENDER
by Elvis Presley
Love me tender,
love me sweet,
never let me go.
You have made my life complete,
and I love you so.
Love me tender,
love me true,
all my dreams fulfilled.
For my darlin' I love you,
and I always will.
Love me tender,
love me long,
take me to your heart.
For it's there that I belong,
and we'll never part.
love me tender love me true all my dreams fulfill for my darling i love you and i always will
Love me tender,
love me dear,
tell me you are mine.
I'll be yours through all the years,
till the end of time
love me tender love me true
all my dreams fulfill for my darling i love you ----and i always will
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Friends...ok, still gonna laugh!
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Posted:Jun 5, 2012 6:45 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2012 8:03 am
17277 Views
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Ok, so I got lucky last night. NO, not that kinda lucky. Although it woulda been fun on both our parts! 
A friend that I haven't really talked to in awhile called me up and we chatted. Caught up on each other, etc.
And he let me know that he is in a "relationship". Congratulations!!! I am happy for him.  I really am. At one point we were seeing each other pretty regularly. But I think it worked out that we were meant to be friends. Great guy who will make some lady very happy.
So...on to the good stuff.
We talk sex. I mean hello! Sex is good! Sometimes very good! Except when you aren't getting any!  We talked about everything in between relating to sex. And somehow we wound up talking about virginity.
Now I am 40. He is older . In today's day and age virginity in most adults is hard to find. I admire anyone who stays pure. I do, becuase me...I kinda like sex.
So that got me thinking. How do men....especially men who have a very high sex drive date virgins? How do women....again with high sex drives date virgins? That would be HARD! 
******************************************************************
On a side note...
I will tell you this...but you have to stand on one foot, close your left eye, stick out your tongue and promise not to laugh!
Yesterday while mini me and I were out shopping around for some odds and ends....
The young woman at the register (mid 20s) asked what year I was born. Not thinking anything, I replied 1971. "Ok, just checking to see if I needed to give you the senior citizen discount."
I wanted to cry! Mini me is rolling on the floor laughing her furry little butt off!
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9
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Catching up....
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Posted:Jun 5, 2012 6:28 am
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2012 7:09 am
16570 Views
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Well made it through my weekend!
Busy little bugger it was! Saw my courter on Fri night. We had dinner, ran little errands, drove around talking before finally heading back to his house to settle in for a movie. After the movie ended we flipped through channels and ended up falling asleep on his couch...it was nice. Left at like 3:30 in the softly falling rain...
Sat. mini me came home early so we could go shopping for her a dress and shoes. Finally found one of each... She settled down ON MY BED to paint her little piggies black...with glitter of course!
Sunday up and at em! Mini me had her confirmation. She made a good haul too! It was a little akward sitting in the pew. I found myself a little corner...and i'll be darned if the ex and his parents didn't come and plop down next to me!!! Oh well, united front for the squirrel! There was a portion of the confirmation where the parents say something. The ex and I worked it out ahead of time...I would say the first part he would say the second. Some parents chose only one parent to say the entire, others chose to say in unison. Well as I am saying my part...I hear his mother saying along with me! Oh well... After the confirmation was over we went to lunch. I had mini me extend an invitation to her dad & grandparents to join us. So off we head to the restaraunt.
As we all sit down, I give mini her present (she had recieved several cards (some with money) from the church along with other nice items). She had wanted a new purity ring, a necklace and a christian t-shirt. Well her dad hands her this HUGE bag. Great the bugger outdid me! Inside....a Ken doll. Now at this point.....I am really, REALLY trying my darnedest not to fall off the seat into the floor rolling in hysterical laughter. And he says...."Isn't that what you said you wanted?" Now, his parents turn. My ex-mil hands her a very pretty box. A shoe box is inside. This will be useful on our vacation she says.... Inside....a Kindle Fire. Then it all makes sense...Ken doll...Kindle...play on words.
So she walked away happy. AND she actually got to bring the Kindle to my house!!!!
After lunch, off we went to change clothes to make it to the telethon. She did a great job. I took lots of pics and posted them on my Bookface place. She really did look beautiful. I was very proud of her.
Yesterday was my first day of summer break. I actually got to sleep in til 9:16! Of course I awoke at 12:10a, 5:34a too!
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5
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Courtship
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Posted:Jun 2, 2012 8:03 am
Last Updated:Jun 4, 2012 9:28 am
17271 Views
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So, I am honest and upfront.
I say so in my profile. I am not in this for a quickie. Been there, done that. Not really looking for a FWB option. Although, there are a few that I could see. My jock... And of course curl. Aramis? Yeah, totally.
But all in all, I am looking for love. I am a true romantic. No matter how many times I have been hurt....I lick my wounds, whine and get back out there!
I have my profile on here. I am on a vanilla dating site. I am trying to find that special someone. Someone who wants me. For more than just sex.
Could it happen? I think so. There have been potential guys, that I could see myself getting serious with. But at the same time, they don't. Has to be a two way street. Been there, done that...for the one-sided.
So along comes the "Foreigner" guy. The guy who inticed me to go on a first date with him to a Foreigner concert. Yeah...
So we have been talking. And going out. And hanging out. He is courting me. And guess what? He is a gentleman. He opens doors. He holds my hand. He kisses the top of my head...just because.
Well, mini me informed me the other day that it was about time that she met this courter.... Her words also included something along the lines of texting a friend who is in law enforcement and asking him to run a background check! She said no more stalkers!!!
It is nice to know that someone wants me. And isn't all about sex.
Where is this going? I don't know. But it is nice knowing that there is someone who wants me.
  
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12
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Finally rest...kinda
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Posted:Jun 2, 2012 7:48 am
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2012 12:36 pm
16104 Views
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Well the school year has come to an end. Made it through!!
Of course, I am sore! My knees hurt from crawling around doing inventory for the last two weeks. My leg hurts from a shelf falling and gouging a streak. My thigh hurts from meeting a book sticking out and leaving a very nasty bruise!
I am tired!
And on the last day of my work week? I murdered the laminator. And when I called the repair dude...I had to leave a message. Which means when he comes to repair...I can't defend myself.
On a happier note. This weekend will be busy, but for good reason.
When my ex and I split and later divorced, a deal was made of sorts. He wanted to make sure that mini me went through confirmation in the Lutheran Church where he and his parents belong. Ok. Well, Sunday mini me will be confirmed. I could not be more proud of her. She even designed her own invitation.
I told her that we would go out to lunch afterwards. And I told her to invite her dad & grandparents to join us.
Later that afternoon...Sunday....the local 's Miracle Network telethon will be held. And mini me will be junior hosting. So if you are in the Oklahoma area...catch the telethon. Great organization, doing great things for the of Oklahoma. And somewhere in that last hour will be my mini me!
Last weekend mini me went to a youth function. She worked her butt off to learn a march. She worked her butt off memorizing a part. Then she asked for a postion as a friends page....(She had the whole girls resume postion down!) Sadly the march didn't go off the way it was planned, BUT it went off and that was great. The part didn't place, BUT she did her best which is what matters. She didn't get the personal page postion, BUT instead got a different state postion.
On the way home, she was talking about her plans for her local postion that she will be taking in Jan? And the things that she wants to do? I had tears in my eyes...she wants so bad to help others. And at that moment driving down the road, I saw my mini go from my little girl....to this beautiful young woman!
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3
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Very interesting.....
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Posted:May 31, 2012 9:48 pm
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2012 7:34 am
15732 Views
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So something is developing...
Yes, yes....
Something is definitely going on.
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3
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Quickie!
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Posted:May 23, 2012 4:47 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2024 11:35 pm
16003 Views
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Well took advantage of actually being home before 9-10 pm!
Been a long couple of weeks. Running around with mini me. Practices, work, life!
And guess what? Baby is getting frisky! I have not had any ANY playtime in quite awhile now. Either with a friend or even on my own!
So...tonight...since I dropped mini off at her grandparents after some shopping...
Baby decided to pull out her toys...cue up some sounds on the porn...and let loose. Ok, so I put a pad down because I knew we would be making a nice wet spot! And I made sure that the batteries were fresh and the extension cord was handy!
I am on the countdown...6 school (work days) left, 6 more days making an honest buck on the street corner , and only 3 more days of lunch/recess duty!!!!
Have I mentioned that I am really REALLY frisky? Yeah...maybe some time soon I can find a way of taking care of that issue!
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1
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Don't give up on me!!!
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Posted:May 21, 2012 5:47 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2012 4:03 am
16448 Views
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I'm still here.
Been busy....lots of stuff going on.
So please don't give up on me.
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4
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Seriously?
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Posted:May 14, 2012 6:15 pm
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2012 7:35 am
16840 Views
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I got an odd text Fri night. Of course it was forgotten about because of the phone call about my aunts passing.
The rebounder sent me a text! OMG!
Yeah, that was out of the blue. He made the small talk. Asking about mini me. Asking about me. Telling me that mini me and I should come to the lake with him and his new family this summer.
Yeah...now for the good shit!!!!
He asked if me and my signifigant other would like to join him and his new woman for drinks and whatever might come about. 
Oh, I know you didn't!
I didn't know what to say. First...don't have a signifigant other (don't think so at least) to speak of. And secondly, I wouldn't touch his winkie with a dried up granny virgin puss!!!!
I mean he is skanky! He dropped me over and over time and time again. Who knows who and/or what he was doing! I know that the last time we were "together" was the night he got me drunk and tried to have a threesome with me and another woman. This man is a sick, twisted little squirrel!
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To link to this blog (80sbaby71) use [blog 80sbaby71] in your messages.
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