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My Private Mail Box 📌 🕖
Posted:Jul 12, 2018 9:41 am
Last Updated:Feb 18, 2020 6:34 am
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My Private Mail Box 📩 ....
Do you have something to share? Send me a private message and I'll reply promptly.
🍸 ☕
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Want To Have A Second Date? ❤️ Don't Do THIS... After The First... 😮
Posted:Feb 13, 2020 6:56 am
Last Updated:Feb 18, 2020 7:45 am
1909 Views
It was morning and snow had begun to fall in blinding white clumps. Traffic was snarled as I watched my wipers flip back and forth... and back and forth. My daze was suddenly fractured - by a gaggle of obnoxiously cheerful radio voices; "And we have, Steve on the line."

Steve, turned out to be a lucky contestant for the daily five hundred dollar - 'Valentine's Giveaway'. Steve's perfect first date with a woman (Cindy), never materialized into another rendezvous. I listened to his tale of an exciting, whimsical evening of wining and dining and dancing... and then Steve had been ignored; seemingly, without cause. The contest prize? Get Steve and Cindy back on track with a lavish all expense paid, second chance.

The radio hosts would try and reach Cindy and put her on the air. They advised me to stay tuned. Snow fell heavily as I sat there in my car. I took their advice... and waited. Like, I had a fricken choice?

There's a hush that leans in and fills your mind, when you're driving on roads with a cushion of snow on them. You glide in muffled slow motion, as if on plush blankets of thick cotton... sliding - more or less where you aim. I aimed away from the ditch and followed the lights of the cars in front of me. It was hypnotic ; a soothing silencer for the crazy chatter normally filling my head.

My tiny state of nirvana fizzled ; when guess who, came on 'live radio'? Ya got it - Cindy!

She was confused at first and then too shy and nervous to say much about anything. But those hosts kept pushing and finally provoked an answer with a blunt question; "Cindy... Steve thought that it was a great first date. Why didn't you ever see him again?"

"It was a wonderful night. We had a great time. I'd never met anyone like him. I thought... and then..." Cindy stammered.

The radio hosts pushed harder. "And then what? WHAT happened?"

"The next day, he sends me a message with a fucking dick pic."

Gotta love Montreal radio - no filters. Her remark was greeted with shock and laughter. Things got worse when Steve's voice chimed into the conference call fray.

"I didn't mean anything bad by it. I just wanted to show you what to expect and..."

And Cindy... concluded the conversation by hanging up. Dial tone... more laughter and shock, resonated through my speakers.

The radio hosts weren't done yet ; asking Steve if his 'little fella' was alert in that picture he'd sent. Steve replied with ; "Well if you wanna get someone's attention, you're not sending a ship out to sea at half mast."

So... the key to getting a 'second' date IS - don't flash a dick pic, after the 'first' date. Good safety tip. I'm sure there are others, aren't there?

The car in front of me had stalled. I didn't care. I was still laughing... while wondering who'd be on tomorrow's show. Perhaps, I'd be able to pick up more dating advice?

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54 Comments
Why Not Blog While Drinking... An Apology... and Other Excuses Included... 😶
Posted:Jan 29, 2020 6:22 am
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2020 6:27 am
6969 Views
Don't drink and blog - unless you want to get into trouble. It's a good tip to follow. I almost wish I had been drinking, when I posted those comments here the other day - then I'd have an excuse. Albeit... a sad and pathetic one.

My foibles are coarse and simple to analyse. I'm expressive, passionate - and occasionally arrogant - with an explosive (but quickly defused) temper and a harsh tongue. Oh... and my inner monologue is non existent. There you go. Does that make things better or erase what I said? No. But hey... those are my mitigating circumstances ; what the fuck are yours?

There are other do's and don'ts, of when NOT to post your thoughts anywhere, on social media. Let me suggest a few.

Definitely avoid the days where you're horribly sad or joyously happy ; few are interested in opinions painted with extremes. Anger will taint any point of view you express and so will apathy. Try to stay off the web if you're impatient, overly assertive or you've had a bad day. And obviously avoid the internet when you're on your period. Having hot flashes? Keep your fingers in your pockets and don't even open the computer.

Are you really horny and need interactive inspiration? Sure... there are sites for that ; just don't lose control and flash an uninvited vagina (or dick) pic. After eliminating all these don'ts - does that leave you with any perfect days?

There's such a fine line between glib and witty - and flimsy and stale. Your goal should be to leave a positive impression and give it your best shot here - and across the web. One thing's for sure, those subtle differences will be obvious fails - after a few drinks.

I'm just wondering... Might they absolve me if I had gone with the - 'I was under the influence' plea? Yet... that defence, would have been a lie. I prefer to be honest and admit - it was just me. Hmmm... Which is worse? 🤔

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64 Comments
Nuns Prefer... the Missionary Position... 😮🔥
Posted:Jan 27, 2020 12:02 pm
Last Updated:Feb 11, 2020 8:58 am
6680 Views
It was early Sunday morning. I opened a bottle of wine - a refreshing Chablis - and poured myself a glass. I'd started a project to rid my house of clutter... but who does housework sober?

The TV played in the background as a church choir soothed my soul. I pulled on my work gloves. I recalled reading on the web, that nuns prefer the missionary position. It must be true ; but I'll ask... next time I see one.

When you go through your stuff, it's amazing to see how much useless junk you can accumulate. A frayed and worn size 30 belt, taxes from ninety six; I think not. I found an unused coffee gift card - from the year two thousand. Damn! Ya think I can still use it?

The church service continued to inspire me, as I refilled my glass. Did you know that most of us will be going to hell? I'm pretty sure I've got a 'speed pass' waiting for me - so I'm all set.

I'd filled up two more garbage bags with debris and my count (since I started last week), was now up to ten. I felt a sense of accomplishment. I took a break and dug into my fridge for the wine.

Flopping back down on the couch, I looked around at all that I'd done. Nothing looked different. Nothing had changed. In fact (from what I saw), I might as well have sat there on the couch... drinking fucking wine all morning.

The golf channel flashed and Tiger Woods teed off . I'd continue with the clean up, another day. I rose from the couch ; my glass was half empty again... or was it half full?

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26 Comments
Dick and Jane Ran... Then Fucked... 🔥😮
Posted:Jan 24, 2020 11:29 am
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2020 4:35 pm
7311 Views
Part of my 'Eezzee Reed Series' ; for those who find words tiresome.
Plenty of pics though.
👍 😶
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See Dick.
See Dick run.
Run Dick run.

See Jane.
See Jane run.
Run Jane run.

See Dick and Jane run.

See Spot, the dog.
See Spot - the dog - run past them, all the way down the block.

Oh... for fucks sake!
Who forgot to close the gate to the yard?

After they'd caught Spot, they went back to the house (showered) and fucked each other's brains out. Ugh... I meant ; they made passionate love together.

Dick and Jane had a good morning as they both came in each other's arms.
🔥💦














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39 Comments
He Thrust Into Her... As She Moaned Against The Headboard... 🔥😮
Posted:Jan 22, 2020 10:44 am
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2020 6:59 pm
7651 Views
It was late and I was tired. I looked forward to a quick meal and the hotel bed that beckoned. But when you travel... things don't always turn out as planned, do they?

I recognized immediately, that my company had booked me into a really classy place. The TV was bolted to the ceiling and secured with one of those thick, shiny, chrome chains. I called room service, but they'd closed at eight. I looked at my watch - it was ten thirty. At least it was quiet : the walls must have been well insulated. The couple next door soon proved me wrong - over and over again - all fucking night.

By her third orgasm, I kinda had a feel for what she liked. Oral pleasure spurred her to great heights as she squealed with delight. I could actually feel his strength, as his thrusts pushed her body up against the headboard of their bed. The rhythmic thumping drove a gentle vibration through the walls - along my bed - and massaged my back.

I peeled off my socks and searched for the television remote ; 'Top Gun' (with Tom Cruise) was playing. Someone lectured his character, Maverick; "The end is inevitable. Your kind is headed towards extinction."

"Maybe... but not today," Tom replied confidently.

The lady next door was praying - to a god - once again. She screamed at the appropriate moment, just as Tom's jet hit the clouds and released a missile. A short time later, I heard a knock at my door. An errant pizza destined for my amorous neighbours had arrived. It wasn't a total loss. I picked up a menu from the delivery guy and an hour later, I was being fed. Oh... and Tom? Well he gets the girl, at the end.

Which was exactly what that guy next door was doing... just as the movie credits rolled. I've had worse stays in hotels. I shouldn't complain ; I'm indentured to work forever, so I'm used to hardship. To be truthful, the pizza was good... and who doesn't like Tom?

I settled in - for 'Mission Impossible' - as the woman in the other room moaned. My bed began to vibrate. Damn... I used to have stamina like that.

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31 Comments
If Someone Were To Ask... How Would You Describe Yourselves... 🤔
Posted:Jan 20, 2020 12:41 pm
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2020 2:23 am
8266 Views
He wondered, if someone were to ask him about her - and seek a description or a noun - he wouldn't know what to say.

Were they lovers or did they simply benefit from friendship? Was it possible they were more? He was almost convinced ; or was that simply lust, pretending to be something else? He was confused, about which words to use.

Especially... since they'd never met.

Sometimes, you can try too hard to make things fit. For many it would still be nice, to have to answer a question like that... once in a while.

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24 Comments
Do All Watches Look Alike... Being Me Has It.s Privileges... 🤔
Posted:Jan 16, 2020 12:59 pm
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2020 9:55 pm
9130 Views
"Being me has its privileges..." was what he said, just before he grinned and disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

There was a Harry Potter festival on TV the other night and that wizard had the power to dissolve into thin air. I wondered what I'd do with such a skill? I think I'd forgo THAT power and just practice the other spell. You know, the one that makes all the other cars vanish and finds the perfect parking spot - in a jammed mall. For fucks sake... I thought the crazy season was over!

Inside the vast expanse of that retail bonanza... spring had already sprung. All the winter gear was selling at a huge discount. We have two feet of snow on the ground, winter is less than half over and I'm looking at three pairs of size twelve boots, bare shelves and bikinis. There's a problem here. I'll probably regret, NOT buying those boots... sometime next December. I found a measly pair of gloves.

As I paid, the lady at the cash hesitated... then smiled coyly at me - while I flashed my credit card. "Nice watch," she grinned.

That's the same watch featured in my profile pics. Damn... I gotta be more careful. Then again, my careless disregard for details- had opened a door. Turns out, she was wearing a ring - and married.

Behind me, waited two rather large women who were arguing the merits of weight loss. One spoke to the other. "Large people like me will never get 'taken'," she exclaimed. "After they use the chloroform, they'd never be able to lift me into the truck."

Interesting - albeit inappropriate - point. They were joking and laughed in my direction. I hid my wrist (the one with the watch), into my pants pocket as I smiled and walked away.

An inch of snow covered my car as I approached - a short time later. There was, a total of seven and a half - predicted. That's enough for the hopeless romantics. Yet, it was too much for me. Everyone has their own set of standards, right?

My new gloves provided toasty warmth, as I swept the snow off my windshield. I thought about what that lady behind the counter had said. I mean seriously ; who looks at the watch? Besides... all watches look alike - if you pay attention to what people say here.

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36 Comments
If She Had Dragged Him Back To Bed🔥... Would Time Have Changed... 🤔
Posted:Jan 13, 2020 10:22 am
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2020 12:24 pm
10094 Views
Weekday mornings were comfortably routine. Her husband, would always leave her with a kiss and a hug ; then he'd smile and promise to text - when he got to work. Things felt different... that morning. She couldn't say why ; there was just, something.

It was Friday and raining. Traffic in Montreal would be snarled. He was surprisingly efficient and headed out the door earlier than normal - looking sharper than usual. He was draped smartly in a dark blue suit, a new tie and his favorite cologne ; the one she loved.

She would have dragged him back to bed and fucked his brains out, if he'd let her. Instead, she cautioned him to be home on time ; a dinner reservation with friends, was for seven. He nodded. Then he reminded her, he'd be tied up all day in meetings - with - as he put it ; "... my asshole bosses. I won't get a chance to call or text, but I'll be home by six thirty babe," he promised, as he kissed her.

The day passed without a word from him. It wasn't the first time he'd been swamped. Yet as the clock struck seven, she'd become generously annoyed. She sent her husband a blunt text, sat in the kitchen and tapped her fingers - impatiently - on the table.

The TV news provided a distraction... barely . They flashed the aftermath from a morning collision somewhere in Laval ; a city close by. A car had been incinerated. She flipped the channel.

As eight o'clock neared, her anger ... had firmly anchored. "There's no meeting so intense, that he couldn't send a fucking message," she fumed. She called his phone - no answer. She rolled her eyes. And yet... an hour later - concern - had managed to gently nudge her anger to the side. When the doorbell rang, it startled her. "He'd forgotten his keys?" she wondered. Relieved to know he was finally home, she rushed to the door. It wasn't her husband - who greeted her.

The policeman who stood there, removed his cap and asked if he could step inside. His words were sparse. There'd been a violent early morning accident with a truck, on a road in Laval. Her husband's car had caught fire. There was nothing, they could have done to save him.

She couldn't believe her ears. "This must be a mistake," she thought. She would have screamed... but a question stumbled onto her lips. "What do you mean, the accident was in Laval ?" she asked. "He works in downtown Montreal. He was at meetings all day. What the fuck , was he doing in Laval?" she blurted.

"I don't know Ma'am. That's where the accident took place," was all he offered.

Her home phone, suddenly rang.

"You're mistaken. That's HIM calling," she yelled. She ran towards the living room and grabbed the receiver. There was no one on the line.

Minutes later... (after the officer had left), that phone rang once again. Through her tears, she peered at caller ID. Although it was a number she'd never seen, she knew the area code ; it was in Laval.

She snatched the phone from its cradle. A woman's voice... hesitant and sobbing... spoke.

"Hello...? I know Robert isn't there. I need to speak with you. There's things... I have to tell you. Stuff you need to know... "

And then - she heard a dial tone. She held the receiver in her hands, staring at it ; frozen... in disbelief and shock.

Chills swept through her core and a realization filled her head. An accumulation of tiny clues, had assembled themselves into a completed puzzle, that had been developing in her mind - for months.

The phone began to ring once again. A dull pain bore through her heart. She was in a daze ; unprepared for that call. Her fingers trembled as she cried into her hands, completely confused by what she should do.

That phone was relentless... as it chimed. Unsympathetic... as it continued to ring ... and ring... and...

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16 Comments
Penis In A Pussy... Or Pepperoni On A Plate...🔥🤔
Posted:Jan 6, 2020 11:00 am
Last Updated:Jan 13, 2020 6:57 pm
11949 Views
She , was bent over the polished, pine wood kitchen table and had gripped both edges, with white knuckle strength. She bit her lip and moaned... softly. The salt and pepper shakers had already fallen, to the black and white checkered floor... right next to a clutter of blue, folded napkins.

He, was close ... but not quite there. His body tingled in waves, as he twitched inside her. She was closer ... in a more desperate way. Her legs trembled as she propped herself on her toes and raised her bare ass to him.

She panted, with short breaths, as he thrust slowly ... into her languid pussy. He leaned his head forward against her back and beckoned. Wet lips greeted his, as she arched her neck and kissed him.

Then... they BOTH smelled it.

Was it burning? Could he keep it in there, for another minute more? "The heat felt soo... good," he thought. He realized - he had to choose. She looked at him with a wince of desperation. They both had to decide ; 'Continue, till they'd reached their goal or risk - burning the fucking pizza!'

Choices... they're always tough ones, when you're near the edge, aren't they?

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18 Comments
It Doesn't Mean Much... If You Can't Afford A Calendar... 🕦
Posted:Jan 2, 2020 12:08 pm
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2020 2:27 pm
12830 Views
She stood near the sidewalk and leaned against an old brick wall. A street lamp, flamed large, silver flakes of snow as they fell gently through the night sky, onto the ragged lapels of her scruffy coat. She pulled the scarf up to her ears and waited patiently, for anyone to walk by. Then... someone did.

The doors to the restaurant flung open pushing warm laughter and a well fed group of couples into the frosty air. As they spilled towards the street, she held out a trembling hand and raised her gray eyes to meet his. He reached into his pocket and fumbled with some change. As he gave her his coins, their eyes met and he realized... he'd known her - many years ago. She quietly thanked him, then lowered her head into the icy wind as it blew her tousled brown hair, across her face. She leaned back against the wall and waited... for another person, to cross her path.

"I know her. We were seniors in university. We were in the same classes," he whispered to the woman draped tightly on his arm. He turned and looked back at the haggard shadow, huddled under the shimmering light. "I knew her. What happened?" he wondered.

They trudged through the snow and shortly... arrived at their destination. They could hear the music from the edge of the club doorway, as they piled into the cheerful mayhem of that bar. Coats were shed at the checkroom, yet as his turn came he paused. "You know guys... I'll be right back. I forgot something at the restaurant," he smiled as he kissed his lady and returned to the street.

He thrust his hands into his pockets and peered down the road. He hoped she'd still be there. He wasn't expecting an answer to any question. He'd dug up a twenty dollar bill from his wallet ; it seemed like something he should do.

When he'd reached, the wall where she'd stood... it was vacant. "How far could she have gone?" he thought, as he looked about. In a city of five million people - as far as the next crack might take her. Many of those cracks, were deep.

He raised the collar of his jacket and took a long breath. A white mist billowed, as he exhaled and looked at his watch. There was plenty of time to welcome the new year with his friends... and pray for old ones... he'd forgotten.

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17 Comments
It.s Happening At The Gym... You Just Have To Be Resolved... 😛
Posted:Dec 30, 2019 12:15 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2020 12:55 pm
13740 Views
I was at the gym (on the treadmill), when I thought about it. Resolutions are designed for people who want to convince themselves, that they can change. They need reminders ; so they create them, write them down - then advertise to the planet. I wondered if I could pretend and be that 'resolution creator'.

Ever walked into one of those fitness clubs after the holidays? They're jammed with people, who've resolved to make a difference in their lives. Good for them! Except... it takes at least thirty days, to build a new habit. Two or three weeks later and that club - becomes a peaceful place... once again.

So why bother with resolutions? If you want to change a part of your life - go ahead and do it. Don't wait till the first of the year - do it right this minute. You don't need to announce it to the world or share it with anyone. Of course... it's more 'official' - if you do.

I reflected upon some changes, I might make. 'Develop an inner monologue'. 'Remove the purchase of lotto tickets, from my financial plan'. 'Become a more productive person and limit my time - on THIS site'. Then, I realized some things...

No one MY age has an inner monologue, do they? And that lotto jackpot, is over a hundred million. To top things off - I had just spent time, writing this thing. Now there's a bunch of minutes, I'm never getting back. But that's the key : you have to give a fuck, otherwise resolutions are simply hollow promises, scribbled on a piece of paper... or typed in a blog. Suddenly, I noticed her...

An attractive woman (wearing a pink pair of skin tight yoga pants), needed help with the StairMaster. Hang on a sec... I'll be back. There's a resolution I have, that I haven't shared with anyone ... yet.

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38 Comments
Stuff Happens All The Time... Some Of It Sticks... Doesn't It... 😎
Posted:Dec 23, 2019 11:00 am
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2020 12:06 pm
15759 Views
Life is filled with stuff that we stumble upon. Last week, a bunch of stuff, caught my attention...

I filled a prescription at the pharmacy on Tuesday. There was a notice on their board ; 'Tell us your humorous side effects stories and get featured on our website'. I thought about it. Who doesn't like to be 'featured'?

The mall is where I visited my shoemaker ; we all have one... don't we? The sign on the glass door said ; 'Back In Fifteen Minutes'. I guess you have to give people hope. He showed up an hour later. I stayed busy drinking coffee and casually gawking at well dressed lady shoppers. It wasn't as creepy as it sounds. OK... perhaps it was.

My 'new' young neighbor isn't quite used to the concept of 'real' mail. The mailman was delivering some envelopes last week. She caught me as I walked down the stairs and asked if she should tip him per piece of mail... or per visit .

I feel good about my bathroom again. I've had a leaky faucet (since forever), so I put a zip lock, sandwich bag around the tap. It's temporary, but I don't hear the drips any more ; unless the bag fills up and falls off. I'm sticking duct tape on the plastic...that should hold better.

We live in such a needy society these days, don't we? I had a power failure last Saturday ; in fact, the whole block went black. I was OK - thanks. I have an 'unlimited data plan' (on my cell phone), so I was still able - to 'log on' HERE . Some people though... such a reliance on electricity . I mean, take the milk and leftover chicken legs out of the fridge and put it into the snow, on your balcony. What's the problem?

It's hard to be upset if something bad happens... and YOU , are the one who caused it. My toilet was backed up. I've got enough issues with my own shit ; I certainly didn't need anyone else's... to confuse me.

There's other stuff I could mention. I'm sure you've got yours. Some of it sticks - doesn't it?

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39 Comments

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