An Open Letter to Canada  

kzoopair 69M/67F
9066 posts
8/30/2018 11:14 pm
An Open Letter to Canada


My Canadian neighbors are currently debating whether to draft more strict controls on firearms.

Gun control. As an American I've pondered this issue at some length. We clearly need a reduction in violence here, so it follows that limiting an implement of destruction might have some effect toward that end. We have the Second Amendment, always capitalized and usually festooned with stars and stripes bunting, laurel wreaths and the odd eagle or two. A nice touch is to feature slightly dimmed in the background our idealized image of a Minuteman clutching his Jaeger squirrel rifle in one powerful fist and gazing sternly into the foreground, a determined furrow upon his clear brow. American gun owners can be a prickly lot and cling to that Amendment fiercely, vowing to defend it as ferociously as a grizzly sow her cubs just before being shot by an American trophy hunter. The thing CAN be regulated without repeal. We've demonstrated before that the Constitution is as sacred a legal document as ever was given birth by the mind of man, as long as it's convenient. Our federal, state and local governments, not to mention our worthy citizens regularly violate the 13th, 14th and 15th amendments and the first amendment is practically in tatters after having been abused by one presidential administration after the other. I keep expecting the vice squad to clap the cuffs on her and haul the old warhorse off to the station house she’s been had so often. I've gone on pretty long without coming to the point, which of course there is indeed one. I could go longer still due to the polite nature of my Canadian audience. Americans refuse to sit still for it. I've decided that the best solution is to ban Americans, not guns. Guns don't kill people, Americans do. Deciding what to do with them, how to dispose of them is a problem, I freely admit, but it's not MY problem. So, what say you Canada? Want to try adopting some Americans for a spell and then decide if you need gun control or citizen control? You’ll quickly learn why Americans shoot other Americans. It’s because they’re assholes. And the only thing that can stop a bad asshole with a gun is a good asshole with a gun. If I might presume to make a prediction, I believe that after a month of suffering these quarrelsome and dangerous pricks you’ll not only be eager to get rid of Canadian guns but you’ll be itching to storm the border and take ours too, just to hear the modern day Minutemen wail and shriek. Do you have it in you to be the good asshole without asking the Queen’s permission first? We’d ask Germany but asking them to seize weapons would be like inviting a pedophile to lead a Cub Scout Troop. Help us Obi Wan Canada. You’re our only hope!


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kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
8/30/2018 11:20 pm

I haven't posted since December. Has the site entered the twenty first century or do we still have to post a first comment? I guess it doesn't matter a hell of a lot but, fuck it. I'll try it.

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s2ndegree 61M  
9701 posts
8/30/2018 11:57 pm

I sincerely hope they consider the Idea.Are their any humans left in south Chicago
I lost track back in November of last year?

We definitely need to do or have done something before Apple or Samsung create a phone that
takes 380 ammo and every nut job is downloading the Cap their ass app!

Still sharp and as poignant as ever and nice to read of you again!

Using more than all the road!


kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
8/31/2018 12:21 am

    Quoting s2ndegree:
    I sincerely hope they consider the Idea.Are their any humans left in south Chicago
    I lost track back in November of last year?

    We definitely need to do or have done something before Apple or Samsung create a phone that
    takes 380 ammo and every nut job is downloading the Cap their ass app!

    Still sharp and as poignant as ever and nice to read of you again!
Thank you!

Ha! I doubt they'd seriously entertain the proposal. Canada knows America all too well, and... they're sane. We're different countries with different histories despite our many similarities. I love Canada and Canadians. I used to claim I'd never met a Canadian I didn't like, and while that isn't exactly true anymore I still admire the social contract they maintain. It does take work, it really does. I think they've been remarkably successful at it.

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sweet_VM 61F
80897 posts
8/31/2018 8:05 am

On a side note great to see you again. I don’t own a gun and never will. Hugs V

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dayzeeme 51F
6995 posts
8/31/2018 9:43 am

Oh Lordy NO, please keep most of the "Mericans over yonder ... we are far too polite to want to have to deal with most of them!!!!!! Besides, we have no guns to shoot them with when they get ornery! We may have to resort to killing them with kindness, or a maple donut from Tim Hortons shoved down their throats while a moose stomps on them!!!


kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
8/31/2018 12:36 pm

    Quoting sweet_VM:
    On a side note great to see you again. I don’t own a gun and never will. Hugs V
It's good to see you too, V. Hugs back

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kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
8/31/2018 12:39 pm

    Quoting dayzeeme:
    Oh Lordy NO, please keep most of the "Mericans over yonder ... we are far too polite to want to have to deal with most of them!!!!!! Besides, we have no guns to shoot them with when they get ornery! We may have to resort to killing them with kindness, or a maple donut from Tim Hortons shoved down their throats while a moose stomps on them!!!
I was afraid my plea would be refused. We're going back to burning coal again so brace yourselves for some acid rain, eh.

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sexysixties2 72F  
38873 posts
9/1/2018 9:43 am

Nice to see a post from you again Kzoo....I have never understood the need for anyone outside the armed forces to carry guns. As you say it's the humans who kill...the guns are just the tool of choice it seems in the States. I'm not saying that we don't have murders here....we do but we don't have mass shootings because neither we...nor the majority of our Police Force carry guns.

"Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age."

~~Anais Nin~~


kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
9/1/2018 11:47 am

    Quoting sexysixties2:
    Nice to see a post from you again Kzoo....I have never understood the need for anyone outside the armed forces to carry guns. As you say it's the humans who kill...the guns are just the tool of choice it seems in the States. I'm not saying that we don't have murders here....we do but we don't have mass shootings because neither we...nor the majority of our Police Force carry guns.
Thanks Sexy. The reasons for the second amendment are pretty straightforward and obvious and are stated succinctly in the text of the amendment. If you read the Federalist, particularly Hamilton, the individual right to bear arms is taken for granted, so there was no real argument on that aspect. It was the status quo. Times and technology change though, even if prejudices don't. Our quarrel here is a contrived one. Gun owners have been whipped into a frenzy over the "sacred" right to bear arms by a fucking lobbying group for the gun industry. Gun control advocates aren't asking for a repeal of the amendment, just the reasonable regulation stated in the amendment. America has become the wholly owned subsidiary of corporations who have no interest in the well being of its citizens.

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kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
9/1/2018 3:34 pm

    Quoting  :

Thanks! I've heard Priests of the High Church of the Second Amendment preach over and over again that guns don't kill people, people kill people, so I decided we should take them at their word and ban people. I have no issues about the individual right to bear arms. I think the amendment says what conservatives think it says. But it also says "well regulated" and I'm equally certain the framers meant that too. I don't really have a place in the Canadian debate, unless they invite me, and 'm pretty sure they're smarter than to do anything that foolish. I was just having some fun with the idea.

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kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
9/1/2018 3:39 pm

    Quoting  :

P.S. I got excited and left out: It's good to see you again too. How've ya been?

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kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
9/1/2018 8:54 pm

    Quoting  :

Message my private mailbox.

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deejj001 69F
20 posts
9/1/2018 9:15 pm

Let them have their guns however, as Barack Obama said "like a drivers license." You have to take a course, pass a test and register you AND your guns, along with a back ground check. Then have to renew the license.


kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
9/2/2018 12:36 am

    Quoting deejj001:
    Let them have their guns however, as Barack Obama said "like a drivers license." You have to take a course, pass a test and register you AND your guns, along with a back ground check. Then have to renew the license.
I agree. Other countries, like Germany and Switzerland, have high per capita gun ownership. Their citizens have to pass proficiency tests and psychological evaluations regularly.

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missthee 54F  
4178 posts
9/2/2018 10:00 am

Welcome back.
Testing to prove they aren't a'holes? Sounds just about logical and it might work in the long-term.
But you are right that we aren't merely citizens. We've become disposable units within the military industrial complex.


kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
9/2/2018 2:11 pm

    Quoting missthee:
    Welcome back.
    Testing to prove they aren't a'holes? Sounds just about logical and it might work in the long-term.
    But you are right that we aren't merely citizens. We've become disposable units within the military industrial complex.
Thank you! It's good to see you here.

There's already a smell test for assholes but I think voters have become desensitized. Your comment about us citizens being disposable is spot on. Our foreign policy, our border patrol and our police forces have been so thoroughly militarized we've forgotten what an actual free country looks like. We're inundated with violent images on TV and in movies celebrating a take no prisoners Dirty Harry approach to any interaction between citizens and authority and between the citizens themselves. Poor souls suffering from mental illness are trotted out and shamed every time there's another mass shooting and our representatives offer no redress for either beyond hollow thoughts and prayers. Fortunately hopeful immigrants to America still hold on to an image of America's true promise, one long time citizens have often forgotten.

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wickedeasy 70F  
32437 posts
9/5/2018 3:13 pm

Canada, oh Canada

hey kzoo, that was hilarious and downright depressing. but it gave ma a thrill to see your line go yellow.

I've been MIA or perhaps I just say lazy but life has been kma. will try to connect soon

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
9/5/2018 3:58 pm

    Quoting wickedeasy:
    Canada, oh Canada

    hey kzoo, that was hilarious and downright depressing. but it gave ma a thrill to see your line go yellow.

    I've been MIA or perhaps I just say lazy but life has been kma. will try to connect soon
It's good to see you too, wicked. This started out as a comment on a post by the Globe and Mail and I decided to expand on it. Canadians seem to have a pretty good handle on the social contract and sure as hell don't need my input, but I like to make sure they know I'm watching just in case they decide to do something stupid and un-Canadian.

It isn't just that America has ridiculously lax gun regulations. There's something else going on here that isn't true for other gun owning nations. We're a violent and frustrated people and there isn't any point denying it. People in other countries watched the Dirty Harry movies but they didn't adopt them as a fucking lifestyle. We have met the enemy and he is us.

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sensualpassion72 55M/47F
3503 posts
1/16/2019 2:55 am

I have a different appeal to make. It has nothing to do with guns, its JOBS. If every one that was of working age was hired to do something/anything for 8 hours a day, the need for criminals to exist diminishes. fewer criminals=less crime=fewer gun crimes since most people don't have the energy it takes to run from the law after they steal something. Cops have a much better arrest record while the crime rate falls proportionate to the number of people working...…. crime itself is a matter of convenience for the lazy or unfortunate that don't have jobs. while it won't solve all crime or gun related issues, it will certainly make it nearly invisible by todays bombardment of news releases about another shooting here and there

the Hubby


kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
1/16/2019 12:00 pm

    Quoting sensualpassion72:
    I have a different appeal to make. It has nothing to do with guns, its JOBS. If every one that was of working age was hired to do something/anything for 8 hours a day, the need for criminals to exist diminishes. fewer criminals=less crime=fewer gun crimes since most people don't have the energy it takes to run from the law after they steal something. Cops have a much better arrest record while the crime rate falls proportionate to the number of people working...…. crime itself is a matter of convenience for the lazy or unfortunate that don't have jobs. while it won't solve all crime or gun related issues, it will certainly make it nearly invisible by todays bombardment of news releases about another shooting here and there

    the Hubby
Arbeit macht frei?

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sensualpassion72 55M/47F
3503 posts
1/18/2019 2:47 am

um... I think I was misunderstood. I didn't imply to have everyone working on the governments behalf. I mean ask anyone working for OUR government if the wages they are paid are sufficient enough to handle todays utility bills and own a home and a decent car.... you'll find that lacking as well and build the frustration further.

But jobs that can help rebuild this nation again..... much like the industrial booms of the 50's and 60's. Jobs were plentiful in most areas, the crime was much lower and gun crimes were much much fewer statistically than today. Add in the missing father figure to many of todays youth with fewer entry level jobs that LEAD to better paying positions and well you have a generation of people wanting to take short cuts to a better way to live or in some cases of the truly disparaged simply a way to live...……. Jobs aren't the best answer nor is it the only answer...… but jobs is one of the most common threads.... manufacturing jobs, the trades people..... that has been the diminishing middle class for the last 20 years

The Hubby


TattooedCoupleAZ 39M/40F

7/10/2019 4:49 pm

People shoot other people with guns all over the world. To subjectively state something so pompous as to ascertain that all Americans are "assholes" because we own guns is asinine, close-minded, hateful and patently false. On a related note, the only reason Canada has its freedom, or a country, is because of brave Americans with American guns. They're welcome.


kzoopair 69M/67F
25789 posts
7/10/2019 7:36 pm

    Quoting TattooedCoupleAZ:
    People shoot other people with guns all over the world. To subjectively state something so pompous as to ascertain that all Americans are "assholes" because we own guns is asinine, close-minded, hateful and patently false. On a related note, the only reason Canada has its freedom, or a country, is because of brave Americans with American guns. They're welcome.
You don't do satire apparently, or humor either. Lighten up and get over yourself.

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