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just play me a tune... 5/7/2008
A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife
in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his
free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied
and sent the best one she could find, along with several
dozen lesson & music books.
Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front
door. "Oh darling" he gushed, "Come here...
let me look ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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lil green monster 5/7/2008
Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie, "
she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that
my husband is having an affair with his secretary."
"I don't believe it for one minute !" Marie
snapped."You're just saying that to make me
jealous !!!"
3 Comments, 73 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Getting back into the swing of things... 5/7/2008
My wife and I have been swinging for about 3 years. We have
always used Hot Socials for our contacts and to look for new friends.
Back about a year and a half ago, we had a really bad experience
and my wife just shut down. It got to where anytime I would
mention getting back in she would freak out or just change
the subject. Now, I admit, I had a little to do with her anxiety
since I handled the ...
0 Comments, 81 Views,
0 Votes
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the horrible curse 5/6/2008
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last
40 years.
The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me
the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation "I now pronounce you man and wife".
3 Comments, 94 Views,
7 Votes
,4.57 Score
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true love 5/6/2008
Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney
and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he
said, "For her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and
a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still
love me because she got a diamond ring." As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For
my wife's birthday, I'm going ...
4 Comments, 86 Views,
8 Votes
,3.94 Score
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couples and oral sex.... 4/29/2008
Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six
hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary's pussy.
The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly,
Gary starts to freak out. He screams, "Waiter! Waiter!
Come over here!"
The waiter says, "Can I help you, sir?"
Gary yells, "There's a hair in my spaghetti!
Get it the fuck out of here!" The waiter ...
2 Comments, 109 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score
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more married life 4/29/2008
A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had
curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp
on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached
over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this
only for a very short while then stopped and went back to
reading his book.
The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The
husband was ...
2 Comments, 91 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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4 kinds of sex 4/29/2008
There are four kinds of sex :
HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over
the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you
only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many
years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK
YOU"
COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her ...
2 Comments, 71 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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MARRIAGE 4/29/2008
1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).
2. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music
is over, the strings are attached.
3. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage
is an institution for the blind.
4. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's
Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
5. ...
2 Comments, 41 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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play me a tune.... 4/28/2008
A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was
going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island
in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he
began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.
"My love, " he wrote, "we are going to
be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting
to miss you and there's really not much to do here in
the ...
2 Comments, 54 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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cant please em all.... 4/28/2008
A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor
condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the
railing. "Damn, that was stupid, " she thought
as she fell. "What a way to die." As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing
caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked,
"Do you suck?" "No!" she shrieked, aghast. So, he ...
2 Comments, 69 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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another 40 years of marriage... 4/28/2008
An old couple were sitting on the porch one afternoon rocking
in their rocking chairs. All the sudden the old man reaches
over and slaps his wife.
She says, "Well what was that for?"
He says, "Thats for 40 years of rotten sex!"
She doesn't reply and they start rocking again.
All the sudden the old lady reaches up and slaps her husband.
He says, ...
2 Comments, 67 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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devotion 4/28/2008
This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of
a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside
every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for
her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You
know what? You have been with me through all the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business
failed, you ...
2 Comments, 66 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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unusual dreams... 4/28/2008
A wife woke up from her night's sleep and began recounting
her dream to her husband. "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks in this place, "she
began, "the big ones went for a tenner and the thick
ones went for 20."
"How about the ones like mine?" asked her husband.
"Those they gave away, " she replied tongue
in cheek.
"I had a dream too, " started the husband. "I
dreamt they ...
3 Comments, 76 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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marriage consuling.... 4/28/2008
After just a few years of marriage filled with constant
arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way
to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been
at each other's throats for some time and felt that
this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the
counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.
"What seems to be the ...
2 Comments, 53 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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40 years of marriage... 4/28/2008
A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first
got married the man said, "I am putting a box under
the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all
their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked.
However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity
got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside.
In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and ...
3 Comments, 227 Views,
14 Votes
,2.18 Score
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marriage 4/27/2008
marriage is not just a word........it's a sentence!
0 Comments, 18 Views,
0 Votes
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marriage 4/27/2008
marriage is not just a word........it's a sentence!
0 Comments, 4 Views,
0 Votes
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Flirt Lines To Get Her Attention ? 4/24/2008
I came across some lines on a site that some guys have apparently
used to flirt with women. Wonder how effective they were?
Do you know Karate? Because your body is kickin’.
You’re so hot, you’re making my beer warm.
If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the McGorgeous!
You better be careful. You’re sitting under a ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
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you can be the man of your house... 4/19/2008
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled,
'You Can Be THE Man Of Your House.'
He stormed out to his wife in the kitchen and announced,
'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this
house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight,
and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve
me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to ...
2 Comments, 187 Views,
10 Votes
,3.78 Score
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say what you mean... 4/19/2008
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws
the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds,
then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this
a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife
is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You ...
2 Comments, 73 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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a poem 4/18/2008
A Woman's Poem
He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake. He said my biscuits were too hard .. Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I whirled and smacked him shitless ... Like his mother used to do.
2 Comments, 58 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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The Final Pubic Hair 4/17/2008
You know when you're going down on a girl, normally
these days, most girls keep themselves pretty clean and
trimmed. Yeah there may be a patch here or there where it's
slightly rougher, but there's ALWAYS some part that
just somehow always gets missed.
It may be a small patch, it may be part of a design gone wrong,
but it's there. And in this patch, there's always
one stray hair that's ...
2 Comments, 318 Views,
19 Votes
,3.78 Score
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Cinderella 4/17/2008
What did Cinderella say after you got to the ball?
*Gack!* 
0 Comments, 74 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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Wrap That Sausage 3/14/2008
Came across this amusing article. Staff at a German butcher's
shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two
sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai.
After shopping there earlier in the day, a man, who spoke
broken English, returned to the butcher's with two
large sausages.
"It was two latex dildos with a natural look, "
said a spokesman for police in the ...
1 Comments, 443 Views,
15 Votes
,3.44 Score
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What women really say & mean!!! 3/7/2008
CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS? -there is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your
body touch any part of mine, again.
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. -without u in it.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? -We haven't had a fight in a while.
NO, PIZZA'S FINE. -you cheap slob!
I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. -I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.
I DON'T KNOW, ...
5 Comments, 305 Views,
23 Votes
,4.53 Score
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worst date?? 3/5/2008
whats the worst date story you have??
1 Comments, 105 Views,
5 Votes
,1.51 Score
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The good husband ! 2/28/2008
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his
company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a
drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol
at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from
the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did
something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first
thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to ...
11 Comments, 297 Views,
52 Votes
,4.72 Score
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Safe condom removal. 2/24/2008
This is a story warning of the dangers of unsafe condom removal.
It's sure to bring a tear to the eyes of every man who
reads it.
When I was about 20, I met a girl called Jenny, and we started
dating. She was quite new to the world of sex, but she was
most enthusiastic. The first time we went all the way I used
a condom, something that she was fascinated with. She rolled
it onto me quite ...
5 Comments, 673 Views,
15 Votes
,4.05 Score
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funny stuff 2/17/2008
yes it is
0 Comments, 41 Views,
1 Votes
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