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Imagration 2/13/2017
2/3 of Donnald Trumps wives have been imagrents. That just
supports the idea that we need imagrents. To to the jobs
that Americans won't do.
1 Comments, 32 Views,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
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Jokes 2/13/2017
I have no good jokes to tell
1 Comments, 9 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Did you hear the one about? 2/3/2017
I usually know a 1000 jokes but can not think of one. haha
0 Comments, 10 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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My fav. Blonde joke 2/2/2017
. A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna
hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before
you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender
IS blonde and the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall
blonde, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is a
blonde, 6' 2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player.
The fella to your right is 6' 5" ...
2 Comments, 143 Views,
18 Votes
,5.58 Score
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Who's the thief?? 2/1/2017
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give
me your money."
The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You
cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"
The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"
3 Comments, 66 Views,
17 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Alabama Farmer 2/1/2017
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each
arm?
A .
ROLL TIDE I LOVE THEM...
0 Comments, 28 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score
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Relatives??? 2/1/2017
Ernie asks Joe, "If I slept with your wife and had a
would that make us related?"
Joe says to Ernie, "No but it would make us even."
1 Comments, 56 Views,
12 Votes
,4.74 Score
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You know what isn't funny? 1/31/2017
Sitting in your apartment, hearing your neighbors fucking like back door porn stars. Your partner playing video games. And your on the web instead of getting fucked like a porn star and your clit played with like a ps3 joy stick.
0 Comments, 32 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
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You know what isn't funny? 1/31/2017
Sitting in your apartment, hearing your neighbors fucking like back door porn stars. Your partner playing video games. And your on the web instead of getting fucked like a porn star and your clit played with like a ps3 joy stick.
3 Comments, 34 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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penis like a chimney!!! 1/24/2017
A redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was having a baby.
Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him. “Congratulations, your wife has had quintruples, five
big baby boys." The redneck said, "Well, I'm not surprised.
I have a penis on me like a fucking chimney." The nurse replied, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned. They’re all black
3 Comments, 74 Views,
10 Votes
,4.98 Score
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Golf 1/22/2017
Two doctors were putting on the ninth green when one collapsed from a heart attack. "Help me, " he groaned to his companion. "Sorry, my malpractice insurance won't cover
it, " his partner replied, walking off the green,
"but I'll get help." A few minutes later, he returned, picked up his club and began lining up hit putt. The man on the ground raised his head and screamed in Disbelief, "I'm dying ...
4 Comments, 129 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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Funny joke 1/20/2017
Who else loves this joke ?
1 Comments, 41 Views,
0 Votes
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Furniture 1/20/2017
Man walks into a greengrocers and asks whether he has any
empty orange boxes as he wants to make furniture from them.
"Yes of course I do. There is a pile there . Take your
pick."
man checks the boxes & there are none that fit what he
wants. He then asks the grocer " Do you have any blood
orange boxes?"
" Sorry none of them at all. Why blood orange boxes
particularly?" ...
0 Comments, 87 Views,
9 Votes
,2.36 Score
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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? 1/19/2017
Because his pecker is on his head
2 Comments, 7 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? 1/19/2017
Because his pecker is on his head
0 Comments, 5 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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...payback... 1/16/2017
A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father,
“Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father,
surprised, answers, “Well, , a woman goes through
three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons,
round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still
nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”
“Onions?” the asks. “Yes. You see them and ...
3 Comments, 98 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score
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...always these questions... 1/16/2017
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when
her walks in. “Mother, where do babies come
from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well
dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night
they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”
The looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That
means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s ...
3 Comments, 124 Views,
9 Votes
,4.07 Score
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Little Johnny....again 1/15/2017
A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor'
that eat things.
The first little boy says, "Alligator."
"Very good, that's a big word."
The second boy says, "Predator."
"Yes, that's another big word. Well done.”
Little Johnny says, "Vibrator"
After nearly falling off her chair, she says, "That
is a big word, but it doesn't eat ...
4 Comments, 131 Views,
14 Votes
,4.74 Score
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Elks 1/14/2017
Two Norwegians are drinking in a bar. One says, "Did
you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?"
"Aww, shit!" says his friend, "and I just
joined the Knights of Columbus!"
0 Comments, 36 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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Just Like Frank 1/14/2017
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going
by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect
timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything
right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed
a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every
single time."
Passenger: "There are ...
3 Comments, 115 Views,
13 Votes
,4.65 Score
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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? 1/14/2017
A carrot .......
0 Comments, 13 Views,
0 Votes
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German girl 1/14/2017
Ten guys are gangbanging a German girl who then yells, 'Nein,
nein!'. So one gets up and leaves.
0 Comments, 39 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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Circus 1/14/2017
Did you hear about the circus orgy? It was fucking in tents!
1 Comments, 6 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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Beans 1/14/2017
What's the difference between a garbonzo bean and
a chickpea?
I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.
0 Comments, 6 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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Joke 1/13/2017
Did you hear about the man with the 5 penises?
..... His pants fit him like a glove!!!!
0 Comments, 10 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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A joke 1/13/2017
Why do lesbians only shop at Sports Authority?
....... They don't like Dicks
1 Comments, 10 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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An age old question 1/13/2017
Which came first: the chicken or the egg?
Neither; the rooster came first.
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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...insurance... 1/10/2017
The Queen visits a new hospital... She is shown around first by a nurse so she can inspect the
facilities.
On her way, she hears orgasmic groans coming from a nearby
room.
She goes to the room to investigate and, upon arriving,
finds that a man is masturbating on the bed.
She asks the nurse "Why is that man doing that?"
The nurse replies "Oh, he's got to ...
4 Comments, 96 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score
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Even more funny ones 1/9/2017
Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job? A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates?
A: A tearjerker.
Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse? A: She's the one with the dirty knees.
Q: Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs,
wife, blowjob. A: Blowjob. You can beat your ...
2 Comments, 32 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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More funny ones 1/9/2017
Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blowjob!
Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
0 Comments, 20 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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