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Hair 1/8/2017
Their is no justice in this world as you have lee hair to comb
you have more face to wash
1 Comments, 12 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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old men 1/8/2017
what is the difference between a sexy senior citizen and
a dirty old man?
There is none
2 Comments, 27 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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old men 1/8/2017
what is the difference between a sexy senior citizen and
a dirty old man?
There is none
0 Comments, 6 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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old men 1/8/2017
what is the difference between a sexy senior citizen and
a dirty old man?
There is none
0 Comments, 5 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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old men 1/8/2017
what is the difference between a sexy senior citizen and
a dirty old man?
There is none
0 Comments, 2 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Dogs and Puppies 1/7/2017
A little boy and his mother are at the airport going to see
his grandmother. The little boy is looking out the window
and turns to his mom and says " mommy is cows have calves
and dogs have puppies how come planes dont that little planes"
His mother says " I dont know, you will have to ask the
stewardess when we get to our seats".
They board the plane and get to their seats and the ...
3 Comments, 164 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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Funny 1/6/2017
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re
nuts.
2 Comments, 12 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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redneck vacation 1/6/2017
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy
Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout
ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it
a little different. The last few years, I took your advice
about where to go. THREE YEARS AGO, YOU SAID TO GO TO HAWAII. I WENT TO HAWAII
AND EARLENE GOT PREGNANT. THEN TWO YEARS AGO, YOU TOLD ME TO GO TO THE BAHAMAS, AND EARLENE
GOT ...
5 Comments, 102 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
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hmmm 1/5/2017
hmmmmmm boring
0 Comments, 7 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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on the edge 1/5/2017
A guy is hiking up a mountain when he sees a girl standing
at the edge of a cliff, crying. "Hey, " he says,
"if you're going to jump, how about giving me
a blow job before you do it?" "My life's
been nothing but crap, " says the girl. "So
I might as well." After the girl's done, the guy
says, "Wow, that was great! Why are you so depressed,
anyway?" The girl replies, "My family disowned
me for ...
4 Comments, 81 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score
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Three Golfers 1/2/2017
Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven.
Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course
they have ever seen. St. Peter tells them that they are all
welcome to play the course, but he cautions them that there
is only one rule:
"Don't hit the ducks during your first three
months here."
The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them ...
7 Comments, 142 Views,
20 Votes
,5.81 Score
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Hurricanes 1/2/2017
Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go
they take your house and car with them
5 Comments, 30 Views,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score
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Little Billy 1/1/2017
One Wednesday, little Billy went to school. The teacher
said, "For the next three days, I will be asking a trivia
question, if anyone answers any of them correctly, they
won't have to come to school on Monday.
The first question was, "How many grains of sand are
on all the world's beaches?" No one knew, not
even little Billy. Suddenly, a paper airplane flew across
the room. "Okay, " said ...
0 Comments, 80 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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G-spot and a golf ball 1/1/2017
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
1 Comments, 11 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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A DEA Officer... 1/1/2017
..stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch
for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field
over there, " as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister,
I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."
Reaching into his rear pants ...
2 Comments, 100 Views,
9 Votes
,5.14 Score
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A Blonde and Snow 1/1/2017
One winter morning in Syracuse a husband and his blonde
wife were listening to the radio during breakfast. They
heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to
10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered
side of the street, so the snowplows can get through...
So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, ...
2 Comments, 111 Views,
13 Votes
,6.16 Score
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3 to think about 1/1/2017
Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways
and put our useless junk in the garage?
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery?’
2 Comments, 35 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Think About It 1/1/2017
Why do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front?
2 Comments, 32 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
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The Priest's Question 12/31/2016
The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and
ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday
morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered
that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the
village, so he questioned his parishioners in church.
During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody
got a cock?
All the men stood up. ...
1 Comments, 56 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
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BIGGER AND BETTER IN TEXAS 12/31/2016
There was a very self-sufficient blind man, who did a lot
of traveling alone. He was making his first trip to Texas
and happened to be seated next to a Texan on the flight. The Texan spent a lot of time telling him how everything
is bigger and better in Texas. By the time the blind man had
reached his destination, a large resort hotel, he was very
excited about being in Texas. The long trip had ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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What to do when a girl smells 12/30/2016
Get on with jt
0 Comments, 19 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
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Space man dickhead 12/29/2016
What the spaceman say to his dick ? Hey stop spacing out dick
0 Comments, 13 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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...a stroll through the woods... 12/27/2016
Three friends stroll through the woods - suddenly a man
appears between the trees looking exactly like Jesus...
the first one approaches the man and asks - "are you
Jesus"? And the man responds YES - can I help you my
?
Yes the First one says - I have terrible pain in my elbow.
So Jesus lays his hand on the elbow and the man is healed!!!
The Second one encouraged limps ...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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and another Blondie joke 12/22/2016
Two blonds standing naked in front of a mirror checking
each other out...the one suddenly says - Hey - you ve got
black hair down there...the other responds with a smile
- You think I am stupid everywhere?....
0 Comments, 47 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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permanent erection 12/21/2016
A man walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was
the pharmacist and as she and her also single sister owned
the store, there were no males employed there. The woman pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional
and whatever it was that he needed to discuss. The man agreed
and began by saying, "This is tough for me ...
2 Comments, 82 Views,
8 Votes
,3.71 Score
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presidential wives 12/21/2016
The wives of four presidents and prime minister are talking
together about how a penis is called in their language.
The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman,
because it stands up when women are entering.
The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot,
because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on
the back side.
The ...
1 Comments, 79 Views,
9 Votes
,5.14 Score
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robot 12/21/2016
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they
lie. He decides to test it at dinner. ", where were
you today?" The says "at school dad."
Robot slaps the ! "Ok, I watched a dvd at my friends
house!" "What dvd?" "Toy story."
Robot slaps the again! "Ok, it was a porno"
cries the . "What! When I was your age I didn't
know what porn was" says the dad. Robot slaps the dad!
Mom laughs ...
2 Comments, 71 Views,
8 Votes
,5.10 Score
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other hand 12/21/2016
Clever Teacher
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for
you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear
attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death
in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever."
A smart ass guy in the ...
1 Comments, 81 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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latex gloves 12/21/2016
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady,
was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put
on his gloves. "Do you know how they make these gloves?"
he asked. "No, I don't." "Well, "
he spoofed, "there's a building in Mexico with
a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to
the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off
the gloves and throw ...
0 Comments, 73 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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real kings 12/21/2016
Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great
kings who have brought always happiness and peace into
people's lives?"
Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.
0 Comments, 19 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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